sinisinta kita

punyeta. in love talaga ako.

happy 4-1!

finally, am home

there are limits to my generosity. i've spent a week minding character c's family. so much so that we have been mistaken for a married couple many times. i know that character c and i move with a certain synchronicity. we move together, we think along the same lines. yes, it had the makings of two people meant for each other. something that i have missed because character a and i barely spoke the same language.

everything is just very comfortable with character c. am happy about that. what i don't like is being judged. i mean. c'mon now. we're the only ones willing to sleep in the goddamned hospital and you blame us for that? if you really didn't one us to be there, then someone else should have volunteered to do it instead. complaints without viable alternatives are a pain in the arse.

speaking of pains in the arse. his brother, (let's call him suzie) is another gigantic pain in the arse. he does need my help. i cannot imagine someone who claims to want to go into foreign service not understand BASIC concepts such as sustainable development, neo-liberalization, trade liberalization.

my gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.

his stupidity appalls me. aside from his utter lack of respect for me and his brother (who is consequently sending him to school; whom he called useless crap), i am irritated by this brandishing of stupidity. i cannot.get.over.his.ignorance.

going the family way

i've been with character c and his family for almost a whole week. what this spells for our relationship is yet to be seen. suffice to say, it hasn't been smooth sailing. it's the first time we're stuck together for a really long time. it's not really that bad. just a little unsettling. i do have to get used to this somehow.

hot head

ewan. ang init ng ulo ko lately. grabe.

on escapism

today, i faced the day with two reading materials by my side. The Bible (a.k.a Cosmopolitan) and a fantasy book. which lead me to think about certain events unfolding in my life. for a really, really, really long while now; not much has been written on this blog that isn't (even vaguely) related to character c. with that thought in mind, i began to panic. am i loosing myself in this relationship?

panic. panic. panic.

which pretty much sums up my morning thoughts.

===

last night, we had birthday dinner for my mom and my aunt. beforehand, my mom gave a horrendous speech/sermon which REALLY DID HELP me get into the spirit of things. am not sure why my mother keeps on doing this to herself. it's as if the woman likes self destructing at crucial times. she notices everything. every minute detail. she cannot let things go, even for a time. that is why supposed happy ocassions (birthdays, weddings, christmas, new year's, etc) turn into major sob-fests. one cannot help but be a little annoyed. i wasn't annoyed last night though,

i was pissed.

it's her own birthday, god damn it. can't she just let things slide, even for one night? jesus h. christ. the woman is mad.

hanapin mo ang pinaka sweet sa picture na yan

bored? o stressed?

	Tish successfully averted WW3 with some covert operation that is top secret.
	... afterward, Tish became an ideal and disappeared.
	'How will you be remembered in history books?' at QuizGalaxy.com

quiz (totoo naman)

- May 6 -
You love literature and the arts and dreaming and traveling. You love attention and are constantly attracting people with your charm. People find you very stimulating intellectually.
Positive Traits: kind, generous, honest, trustworthy, responsible
Negative Traits: manipulative, a gossip, presumptive, codependency, controlling
'What does your Birthdate mean?' at QuizGalaxy.com

natuto na ako't nagtanda

ano ba dapat gawin kung ang isang kaibigang pinagkatiwalaan mo ng todo, inasahang mong tutulungan kang bumangon at binigay mo nang buong buo ang suporta sa kanya ay siya din naman palang magkakanulo sa iyo't magpapahiya sa harap ng maraming tao? paano mo haharapin yung katotohanang sa kabila ng lahat ng inyong pag-uusap, sa kabila ng kanyang pagsira sa iyong tiwala noon at pagsisikap mong ibalik ang tiwalang yaon; magagawa pa rin yang magsinungaling sa iyo. magagawa pa rin yang lokohin ka, paasahin ka, saktan ka?

hindi ko alam kung paano pa ako makikitungo sa kanya. sana nanging pranka na lang siya at sinabing kahit ano pa man ang sabihin ko sa kanya; ikakalat pa rin niya ang nalalaman niya sa akin, sa amin. hindi naman ako masasaktan ng ganito kung naging handa ako. ganun lang kasimple ang mga bagay. nagtiwala ako sa iyo. bilang isang kaibigan. sinabi mo noon sa akin kung anong hangganan ng mga ilalahad mo. tanga ako't naniwala pa sa iyo. tahasan mong nilagpasan ang mga hangganang yaon.

sabi mo kagabi, ituring kita hindi lang bilang kaibigan kundi bilang kasama din. ito ang sagot ko sa iyo: hinding hindi na kita ituturing na kaibigan. kahit kailan, hinding hindi na ako magtitiwala sa iyo. kaya kong ituring ka bilang kasama. pero hinding hindi na kita ituturing na kaibigan. huling pagkakataon na itong magpapaloko ako sa iyo't magtitiwala. huli na ito. magtatanda na ako sa susunod na lumapit ka pa sa aking nagkukunwaring magkaibigan pa rin tayo. sana, huwag ka nang umasang babalik pa ang dati nating samahan, ang dati kong tiwala sa iyo. kasi, sigurado akong hinding hindi na ako papayag maibalik pa yaon.

drunken

for all it's worth, character c and i are doing fine.

timing

last night, character c and i got out of the staff house as a legitimate couple. the events that unfolded beforehand were, in no small measure, of my own gauge of people around us. it was time to tell the world the real score between character c and i. it made a difference. a disconcerting difference for some, but a difference nonetheless. and to the dynamics of our relationship, telling the world that we are a couple makes a world of difference from hiding in the shadows and stolen moments. i love you, character c.

finally

alam na ng lahat na kami nga. :D